Well, how does one introduce oneself on a blog? Is it like you would do in one of those ‘anonymous’ classes? Hi, my name is Val, I like to eat food and work out. Sure, that about sums me up. 😉
After all, those of you who are reading this probably know that I have wanted to start a blog for a while, but just couldn’t get the courage to do so. As of January 20th, I was finally ready. After my workout on that Monday night, I broke down to my friend/trainer as I had hit a wall after two and a half years of starting my lifestyle change, working out religiously, eating pretty on point, and losing sixty lbs. My breakdown was purely that I had fallen off track by not working out and eating/drinking whatever I wanted. This wasn’t me, and I was so afraid of going back after I had worked so hard to get to where I was.
Let’s backtrack a bit to when I started this ‘fit-life’ journey. July 22nd, 2011, about seven months after I graduated UNR with my bachelors in Business Management, I woke up and was done. Done feeding my body junk, done not having any energy or motivation, done with the excuses, and done with feeling like crap. Let’s backtrack a little more…I was always SUPER active in high school. College came and I wasn’t required to take a PE class or be on a team so, heck, why not take this as a free pass?
Worst. Decision. Ever.
I put on forty lbs in college…yes…40…and an additional ten after Brandon and I were married…so…50…ACK! I wouldn’t say I was in ‘denial’ about my weight gain, but I just ignored it thinking it would just correct itself on its own and I would make excuses as to why I was having to buy bigger sizes. I wouldn’t even look at myself in the mirror and hated taking or seeing pictures of myself. I would get dressed, do my make-up and hair–all in the dark. I just couldn’t stand to see the person who was staring back at me.
Back to July 22nd, 2011…as I said, I was done. Pulled my phone out and typed ‘a lifestyle change diet’. This search led me to the Fat Smash Diet by Ian Smith on Amazon. I ordered the book, read it from cover to cover, and decided that on August 1st, 2011, the excuses were going to stop and I was going to change my life, and I did. I did Ian’s 90-day program and lost the first 25lbs. I ended up having to have back surgery in March of 2012 due to a herniated disc, which set me back a few months, but once I was back up and running, I starting researching; ‘clean eating’, different workout plans, advice, tips, fitness blogs… anything that was fitness related and lost 60lbs! When I had started the Fat Smash, I didn’t want anyone to know about it so I kept it a secret as I wasn’t sure, at the time, if I would stick with it based on my poor excuses I was using before. After I started having success and kept with it, I decided to start holding myself accountable and posting things on FB and Instagram to not only help myself, but to help possibly inspire others to want to make a healthy change for themselves as well. Hearing positive comments, praise, and congratulations from loved ones helped keep my drive to want to be my absolute best! And I kept hearing from friends and even people I hadn’t talked with in years about how much I was motivating and inspiring them to want to make a healthy change!!! (An overwhelmingly amazing feeling to hear when you can help others!)
February 2013, I went into my doctors to have some blood work done as my doctor just wanted to do a checkup. My blood results came back relatively good, but my cholesterol levels and liver enzymes were up. My doctor wasn’t super concerned as she felt my body was just out-of-whack from my huge weight loss and wanted me to get a re-check in September. My numbers came back worse. I freaked. How the heck at 25 years old do I have HIGH cholesterol?!? I don’t eat red meat often, no butter, cream, bacon; I drink water like it’s going out of style, and eat clean. I was a wreck. My mom calmed me down reminding me that high cholesterol was common in my family as my grandma had trouble with it at a young age as well.
In my appointment to go over my results, it was determined that I would have to go on medication for the high cholesterol, and I really just didn’t have a choice as genetic high cholesterol is really hard to manage without being on something. Of course, with all of this information coming at me, I was a bit overwhelmed. My doc asked me,
Are you this anxious all the time?
I never really have considered myself anxious, but let me be honest, I am. She wanted me to try an anti-anxiety med. Not ever having been on one, I agreed. She explained to me how they would work and that the first one she prescribed may not be the correct “fit” for me, and we may have to try a few.
Okay. Got it.
Three weeks after being on the first prescribed one, I was a zombie. I literally did not care about anything; ‘Oh, the laundry is piled up, Oh well; my phone is ringing, huh, odd; my alarm is going off, tough, I am going to sleep’. It was the worst feeling in the world. Went back in, she prescribed me something else, same results. It was affecting my life; I didn’t want to get up to work out, and I just didn’t care about what I was eating and that just wasn’t me.
January 20th, 2014, after about two months of being off track, I lost it. Feeling like crap again, not wanting to look at myself in the mirror…I was so ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, and sad. How could I just be okay with throwing away all of my hard work and letting down all the people who had supported and inspired me? I cried to my friend for an hour and later to my husband, but they both knew what to say to get my mind right;
Val, you made the choice two and a half years ago to change your life and you did, you can do it again. You are the only one to have the power to change it and we know you can so just do it!
As of today, I am going to make that change again, and I am going to blog about it every step of the way: the ups, the downs, the workouts, and the recipes. The past couple of months have thrown some curveballs, but I wouldn’t change anything that has happened as I have really learned from it all. It’s OKAY to not be perfect, to not eat clean 100% of the time, to sleep in, and ENJOY a healthy, balanced life. That is what it is about. Balance. Finding it is hard, but once you do it will change your world. I am going to get there again and I hope to help whomever is reading this get there, too. Through perseverance, we can!