My Mind Games

Had a minor hiccup yesterday on my new quest. 😦

As I had mentioned in my first post, when I started my original journey, I did it on my own without anyone knowing (except for my mom and husband) meaning I worked out at home, not in front of people (too scary!). It worked really well as it helped me lose the first of my weight but, as I am sure you have all experienced, I got bored. I was apprehensive but decided to try working out in the gym with others doing group classes and was so PUMPED at the energy that I was getting from everyone. It got me excited to workout again! This is what led me to The Lean Lemon, which came with two fantastic trainers (who are now two of my dearest friends) and some really incredible women, and a few cool dudes, to workout with!

I went to the gym Tuesday morning to workout with my ladies. Having been off for over a month, I was a little nervous as there were new people in class and I just wasn’t feeling super confident. Workouts that used to be ‘easy’ for me, I was struggling with. My mind games started playing; these are people who follow me, who have seen me at my prime, what are they going to think now? Are they going to not want to look to me for inspiration? Are they going to think I am a slacker? (Ridiculous, right? I know. I hate those stupid voices in my head.  And it isn’t until after I am being so ridiculous that I realize how ridiculous I am.)

I reached out to my trainer yesterday morning as I made the decision to not go to my morning workout class as I was feeling ashamed and decided to just workout at home. I thought to myself, “maybe it would be good to just workout at home again until you get back to where you were”.  I explained this to her and she was shocked. She gave me the tough love that I needed to hear, “Do you think anyone else here has a clue what you were able to do four weeks ago? Do you really think they notice that you aren’t at your top performance? No. They are focused on their own stuff. They notice that you aren’t here and they miss you”. Tears began immediately streaming down my face. How could I be so RIDICULOUS? Mind games. Awful.

I absolutely DO NOT want to do this behind closed doors again which is a big reason why had I decided to start my blog. The support, love, and laughter I get when working out with my girls are what set my mood right for the whole rest of the day.  I mean, jeez, my workout BFF sang a song to me this morning to keep me pushing, where else am I going to get that?!! Nowhere. (I mean I could sing myself a song, but that is just no fun! 😉 )

This fit-life journey is all about jumping over and learning from hurdles. I am still learning how to calm the mind games and it is something I will probably always have to work on. But, if you can find that person to go to, to snap you out of your funk, you have found the golden ticket. I am lucky to have to found that in my trainer/friend. 🙂

As the quote says above, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Couldn’t have said it better. Writing and sharing my triumphs and struggles has been my first step. I want to be 100% honest with all of you as I feel it is important not only for me but to possibly help someone else. As I say, through perseverance, we can!

Much love,

Val